Oct 03, 2017 jack handey answers this important question in this monologue read by michael nesmith from episode three of television parts. I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. Deep thoughts were first seen in small comedy magazine army man comics edited by george meyer and continued in national lampoon in 1984 though gained popularity when they were read on saturday night live beginning in 1991. The 75 most hilarious homer simpson quotes of all time. If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em, cause, man, theyre gone. May 11, 2015 before there was internet snark way back in the dark ages of the 90s there were deep thoughts by jack handey. Deep thoughts by jack handey was an icon of saturday night live in the 1990s. I just received my shipment of his deep thoughts books business expense, and i discovered his wisdom around personal productivity, and life in general. Deep thoughts by jack handey your friends and family love the gift of laughter, give it to them with a quick visit to the official jack handey website. Jack handey is a brilliant comic and a lovely person who has amassed a legion of fans with his unique brand of comedy. Thanks to jack handey for being a comedic genius and coming up with these. A national bestselling collection of comedian jack handey s deep thoughts short, funny observations on life that were shown in between sketches on saturday night live.
Open up a new tab with a wonderful and inspiring quote from philosopher jack handey. Tags inspirational quotes baby traps jack handey deep thoughts. Jack handey s deep thoughts on flying back through time. If you drop your keys into molten lava just let em go cause, man, theyre gone. Deep thoughts on personal productivity by jack handey the. Below are some of his observations i thought youd like. A clever, absurd and fantastical adventure that could only have sprung from the hilariousslashlunatic mind of jack handey. Get your kindle here, or download a free kindle reading app. Jack handey is the author of the bestselling deep thoughts series of books.
On the site, jack handey still doles out his satirical observations and much sought after inspirational quotations. My favorite writer of all time is jack handey, and deep thoughts might be my alltime favorite thing ive ever seen on snl. Deep thoughts by jack handy instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be thinking about getting more use out of the weapons we already have. Displays a random quote from jack handey s deep thoughts powered by. Jack handy quotes, jack, handy, author, authors, writer, writers, people, famous people. After that i usually feel a lot better, and no harm done. Its a neat trick to plan an elaborate trick on the first of april and then say april fools for instance i tried this real elaborate proposal that really got my girlfriends hopes up. Many people have the false impression that jack handey is not an actual person, but a character created by saturday night live or a pen name used by national lampoon. Jack handey deep thoughts from snl, deep thoughts by jack handey. With quirky, offbeat humor that often veers into the unexpected, jack handey s witty one liners make this book the perfect funny gift for fans of mitch hedberg or for anyone who appreciates a good dad joke.
If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, its probably best to avoid eye contact. A tropical adventure, written and read by the legendary snl deep thoughts and new yorker writer jack handey. Religion, some people say, has caused wars and fighting. I wouldnt be surprised if someday some fisherman caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. At the bottom youll find links to his the new yorker short stories. Although many people assume otherwise, handey is a real person, not a pen name or character. Sometimes when i reflect back on all the beer i drink i feel ashamed. Jack handey offers his deep thoughts on how to get rid of a thanksgiving dinner you dont want to eat. See more ideas about deep thoughts, thoughts and deep thoughts jack handy. Deep thoughts was a regular comedy video segment on television parts. Use updown arrow keys to increase or decrease volume. Deep thoughts by jack handey really funny clean jokes and humor. Talk story about comedy writer jack handey, author of ojack handey s deep thoughts and also of saturday night live fame. On the website deep thoughts by jack handey, the funny moments live on even decades after the segments stopped airing on snl.
Homicidal, jack handey on what to do when hes feeling homocidal. Please stop the deep thoughts book deep thoughts by jack. Is there a real jack handey deep thoughts by jack handey. Yes, but its also boring to sit through a church service, so it evens out. Deep thoughts by jack handey saturday night live youtube. Deep thoughts by jack handey are known worldwide for their simplicity, their insightfullness, and deep thoughts. Please stop the deep thoughts book deep thoughts by jack handey. Parachuting, jack handey s deep thoughts on parachuting.
When gary told me he had found jesus, i thought, yahoo. For the uninitiated, deep thoughts was a brilliantly satirical saturday night. Presidential gift, jack handey s deep thoughts on love affairs. Jack handey deep thoughts from snl, deep thoughts by jack. Jimmy fallon out this month july 16 from hachette audio. Quotesgram wallpaper from hd widescreen 4k 5k 8k ultra hd resolutions for desktops laptops, notebook, apple iphone ipad, android windows mobiles, tablets. Jack handey, deep thoughts i think a good movie would be about a guy whos a brain scientist, but he gets hit on the head and it damages the part of the brain the makes you want to study the brain. Funny quotes a funny thing is if youre out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him youre going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend you got bit by a snake.
That way, youll be a mile from them, and youll have their shoes. Shark riding an elephant, jack handey s deep thoughts on a shark riding an elephants back. A jack olantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says you. Deep thoughts inspirational quotes gif by jason clarke. Sometimes i worry what kind of a world we are leaving to the bands of roving mutants who will inherit it. If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, mr. The uploader has not made this video available in your country.
And then everybodys gotta start making funny stuff and stop making shit that i hate. Jack handey born 25 february 1949 is an american humorist. From the book what id say to the martians and other veiled threats originally published in the new yorker. Handey won two emmy awards and a writers guild of america award for his writing on snl and other comedy shows. I wish there was something called trial by ants, because at the end the guy would say, the ants have spoken.
Deep thoughts by jack handey really funny clean jokes. Deep thoughts by jack handey shark from television parts. He is best known for his deep thoughts by jack handey, a large body of surrealistic one liner. Sep 22, 2017 everybodys gotta listen to jack handey on mike sacks podcast. Deep thoughts by jack handey is a book that holds some of the funniest and most absurd segments from the saturday night live years. Deep thoughts by jack handey family outings from television parts. Jun 05, 2019 if you miss the days of jack handeys deep thoughts, this is a great extension of what can be explored with that tone, while capturing the mischievousness of rumrills live comedy onscreen. Oct 22, 2019 deep thoughts by jack handey from old school snl days. Top 30 quotes of jack handey famous quotes and sayings. He is best known for his deep thoughts, a large body of surrealistic oneliner jokes, as well as his fuzzy memories and my big thick novel shorts. Dont ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like i did once, because the faster you go the later you think you are. I remember watching saturday night live and cracking up at these when they came on. He is best known for his deep thoughts by jack handey, a large body of surrealistic oneliner jokes, as well as his fuzzy memories and my big thick novel shorts, and for his deadpan delivery. He is best known for deep thoughts by jack handey, which appeared on saturday night live.
Aug 12, 2005 what are the best deep thoughts by jack handey, in pattericos opinion. Jack handey born february 25, 1949 is an american humorist. Deep thoughts by jack handey one thing a computer can do that most humans cant is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse. He was a staff writer for saturday night live, and has won two emmy awards and a writers guild of america award. Porn booths saturday night live by saturday night live. Deep thoughts by jack handey is it just me or do these deep thoughts quotes make you laugh. I started to drive over to the real disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. Deeper thoughts, all new by jack handey 19930504 paperback january 1, 1840 4. And i can picture us attacking that world, because theyd never expect it. Pattericos pontifications best deep thoughts by jack handey.
Now jack handey has written a novel, the stench of. He cried and cried, but i think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. If youre a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, i think you should buck him off right away. The pick of the crop one thing kids like is to be tricked.
Once when i was in hawaii, on the island of kauai, i met a mysterious old stranger. Jack handey confirms that yes, he is a real person duration. See more ideas about deep thoughts, deep thoughts jack handy and thoughts. My favorite saturday night live sketch rolling stone. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. Oh, you need anread more if you liked this, you might also like.
Phils favorite jack handy quotations if you ever drop your keys in a river of molten lava, let em go, because, man, theyre gone. Deep thoughts by jack handey was a regular segment on television parts. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. The stench of honolulu written and read by jack handey.
Get youtube premium get youtube tv best of youtube music sports. He is most famous for his deep thoughts, a large corpus of surrealistic oneliner jokes. Shark riding an elephant, jack handeys deep thoughts on a shark riding an elephants back. Deep thoughts by jack handey saturday night live by saturday night live. Then, writer and humorist, jack handey of snls deep thoughts with jack handey offers an explanation as to why the voice of deep thoughts might be a. His other books include the stench of honolulu, what id say to the martians, deeper thoughts, all new, and deepest thoughts.
And if you love jack handey quotes, check out runt of the webs other posts on. Deep thoughts by handey, jack, 1949publication date 1992 topics wit and humor, juvenile, american wit and humor. Grandpas farm, jack handey s deep thoughts on grandpas farm. His humor pieces have appeare in the new yorker, outside, playboy, national lampoon, punch, and other publications. Oct 05, 2017 jack handey presents a twisted russian doll scenario in this deep thought read by michael nesmith. Features gems by jack handey and links to sites featuring jokes, the simpsons and calvin and hobbes. He lives in santa fe, nm, with his wife, dog, and cats. Deep thoughts by jack handey if you drop your keys into molten lava just let em go cause, man, theyre gone. The legendary deep thoughts and new yorker humorist jack handey is back with his very.